Does your friendship revolve around cocktails, parties and happy hours? Cutting back can be awkward and challenging. There’s the explaining. There’s the temptation. And then there’s the feeling like an outsider.

First, I definitely recommend finding some sober or sober-curious friends who have a lot in common with you. They don’t need to replace your old friends (unless your old friends don’t like you unless you’re drinking, in which case, like I’d tell my middle-schooler, they probably aren’t your friends).

When “grabbing a drink” is the de-facto method of connecting with people, here are some alternatives that keep your hands busy and your mind entertained!

1. Find a late night coffee or tea-house. If you live by a city or campus or in a cool town, you may be lucky enough to have one nearby that has live music at night!
2. Take an artsy workshop (pottery, glass-blowing, tie-dying are a few we have locally).
3. Attend a niche sporting event. We have a great roller derby league near us and a football club, where drinking is plentiful but not required. There’s fun to be had even if you just go check out a local skatepark and watch kids do tricks or attend a high school athletic event!
4. Get active! Go kayaking, rollerblading, or hiking. One of my favorites in the Detroit area is tree-climbing. You can also sign up for an organized race or hit up a yoga or fitness class.
5. Take a cooking class online or in person (there are some great workshops focused around niche skills like butchering). Or, get together and try something like sushi or cheese making!
6. Teach each other skills- one of my friends is great at growing plants and I am terrible at it. Another friend and I plan on one day watching YouTube videos and learning how to tile, using my fireplace as a learning project.
7. Get breakfast before work or grab lunch mid-day.
8. Partake in a low-entry sport (golfing range, axe throwing, nerf/dart club, archery)
9. Go antique/vintage/thrift store shopping or hit up some garage/estate sales.
10. Socialize while you relax! There is an amazing bathhouse in Detroit called The Schvitz that is one of my favorite things to do in the winter, where you can hit the steam room and then a cold pool. Many local gyms have both amenities and offer day passes. Pedicures and spa days are also great options.

A lot of these activities alone cost less than the cost of a night out at the bar. With the pandemic, it’s fairly easy to find a great online hosts for workshops, classes, and events like murder mysteries and escape rooms. Airbnb offers Online Experiences, as well as many local options for Face to Face. Skillshare is another highly recommended site.

With all of these ideas, it’s unlikely you’ll avoid suggestions of meetups at the bar altogether. If that isn’t a trigger for you and you’re feeling ready to try it, more and more restaurants are including non-alcoholic and low-alcohol options on their drink menus. All it takes is a little prep and online searching to find a few areas where you’ll be able to sip a lovely and delicious drink without the hangover.

If you live in the Detroit area, here is my ultimate list of favorite places to go and things to do!